
My sweet Uncle Elvie passed away earlier this week. This death hit me hard in many ways. I was always close with my uncle Elvie. He's my moms uncle (my grandma Clemens little brother) and always lived right across from my grandma clemen who you all should know was my best friend. My twin souI say. My grandma adored her baby brother and always took care of him. She pretty much was his mother. He wasn't married (but for a short bit) and had no children. So my grandma (being the care taker that she is) would cook all his meals, do his laundry, clean his house and pretty much do everything for him. In return he worshiped her and loved her beyond measure. She was the apple of his eye. I have so many memories of walking to his house and him being so silly tickling me, taking me to see the horses and cows, and just being such a great male role model for me. It was when I lived with my grandma my jr year of high school that we got especially close. I had a lot of turmoil going on internally with my parents divorce and being taken away from friends and he always was there to talk me and cheer me up. He'd kill anybody who hurt me he'd say. As I grew up and moved on with my life I later took back Ian who was to be my future husband to meet him. He loved Ian and shook his hand and said "he had a good hand shake." Lol makes me giggle. Elvie wasn't a religious man he, he was a hard working man, a farm boy, and a hermit much like myself. When grandma died I flew down to be there. Seeing Elvie was almost unbearable for me. He was so heart broken and couldn't stop crying. He knew from that point on he was alone and had to do it all by himself. I remember he wouldn't attend the viewing and we had to have family members physically remove him from his house and make him go. It was horrible hearing the sobs and groans that I heard from him. It was true love and he was devastated. I knew right then and there he would die from a broken heart soon. They had to physically pull him off her casket because he wouldn't let go of her hand. It was too much for me and I couldn't watch. I never have the right words to say during death. It's something that doesn't even hit me or feel real to me until many months pass. I felt like I was watching a movie almost and it wasn't real. Leaving him in Missouri like that broke my heart but I had kids to get back to and a life in utah. The next and last time I saw him was when we pcsd from utah and on our way to South Carolina we got to stop for a night in Missouri. It was a surprise to him. Since grandma died he didn't get much visitors. When I knocked on that door with my whole family he stared at me in shock for a minute! Then he scooped me up and hugged me so tight. He spent much of the evening talking about how much he missed grandma and I could tell by his house he wasn't cleaning as much, and he had a picture of her ok his table right by his chair. Made me tear up. We couldn't stay long.. We had left our cats back at my cousins in west plains (about 45 mins away) and I knew I had to get back and tend to them. Elvie begged me not to leave and offered up his whole house to us. It was terrible to have to leave him. But I didn't know it would be the last time. It wasn't ironic to me that he died from complications of a heart attack. His heart was broken. He loved grandma so much. I know that she was there to greet him when he crossed over and that much comforts me. I'm really sad I can't make his funeral especially when I heard about all the drama going on around and about it. It's funny and sick how when in death people start comming around and wanting money from people. I couldn't accept money from him even if I was offered it.
Wouldn't feel right. I hate death. I know it's inevitable , but I hate it. I hate how all the people who were such a big part of my childhood won't be a part of my kids. All I have is pictures and it's not the same. I also hate how when something like this happens people's true colors show. Greed and sorrow come out of those you least expect it. And friends who you thought cared about you don't even ask how you are makes you realize that people generally care about one thing. Themselves. I'm blessed to have found out who is real and in for the long run. Surprised by a few, disapointed by most. Thank you to all who reached out and just asked how I was. You all know who you are and I've already thanked you. Life is so short I want to spend the rest with the people who truly love me and my family. And live it to the fullest. On top of death I've had a lot of other bad news I can't go into detail about just yet but beyond all the bad I have very good news and a blessing that out weighs any bad. For that gift I'm truly greatful and can't wait for what the future holds. Here are the last photos of our visit with Elvie.
The orbs were in every pic. We believe it was grandma. You can see her peeking over behind us in the picture frame.
More orbs
He got to meet all our kids and for that we are forever greatful!
If you are reading this.. Reach out to someone when they seem in pain or have a loss. You don't know how much it can affect them. And if you are reading this and purposely did not just to be an asshole.. Shame on you.
No comments:
Post a Comment