35 days in..

Wow.  I can't believe 35 days have already passed.  This quote pretty much sums it up for me at this point.  I still think to myself "I can't do this" yet I find myself doing it each day.  Let me first start off by talking about my day today.  Today I got to attend the Red White and Babies baby shower.  It is founded by a mil spouse here at Shaw, designed for military spouses who are pregnant with an emphasis on those with a deployed spouse.  Again, I never thought that would be me.  Yet here I am- and what a blessing that it was here where they offer this to us.  Even my mom today said, "I know you say you hate it there in South  Carolina, but it's been pretty good to you so far."  And she's right.  (Arnt moms always right?). This base is so tight knit and the church and the community are so giving and loving that they make me feel important.  The shower was amazing I got so many things I needed for little man.  I even won a 4d ultra sound and I've never had one of those before so I'm excited to do that and to send pics to Ian.  I know God was behind that.  He knew what we needed.  I am so thankful for everything received (I literally had nothing for him) starting over 4  years since my last baby.  Now I have almost everything I need besides clothes and a car seat and some more bottles.  I'm also thankful for a kind heart who took in my kids today and let me be able to attend.  This evening was back to reality.  It is so hard raising 3 young kids solo, while pregnant.  I wish I had family around, to help me.  My body is so tired.  I wanted some chips and salsa after I laid the kids to bed.  The damn jar would not come off.  I did every trick in the book to no avail.  I almost texted a neighbor and asked for her husbands help, but I sat the jar down and cried.  Swore a lot, and then prayed lol.  Instantly the damn thing came off.  Thanks god.  Lol.  It's funny to hear me say that, but when you really rely on no one but yourself you learn that God is all you have sometimes, or at least I have.  He's a pretty good dude.  I still have 155 days to go.. And things are gonna keep getting harder and harder as I get bigger and bigger.  I just hope it passes as quickly as these 35 have.